Is someone you know retiring? When people retire it’s a significant event in their life, and finding something meaningful or funny to write in their retirement card can be challenging. We’ve rifled through the inter-web, rummaged through our cards and come up with some popular and unique ideas for you. From funny quotes to sincere messages, simply pick your favourite.
Light Hearted Wishes
- Congratulations! The money is no better in retirement, but the hours sure are.
- I hope you’re looking forward to the feeling of never having to go to bed at night and set an alarm again.
- Enjoy working at living, instead of living at work.
- In retirement, there’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.
- Now you can sit back and give advice to others, even though you never followed it in your own life.
- Goodbye tension, hello pension!
- Welcome to happy Mondays!
- Happy retirement. Time to stop lying about your age and start lying around the house!
- Well done on climbing the mountain, now you can finally enjoy the view!
- Congrats on retiring! Now it doesn’t matter if the government decides to increase the retirement age.
- Remember retirement is an adventure! Especially if you count trekking out of bed, climbing on sofas and diving into takeaways. Have fun.
- Retirement will make you realise that you wasted all those years trying to be mature when you can go back to being a child at the end of them. Enjoy!
- Congratulations for gaining two new best friends upon your retirement. Their names are Bed and Couch. You will be hanging out with them a lot.
- Retirement is like a never-ending weekend party… except that you can’t drink, can’t dance and can’t stay up late. Enjoy!
- Retirement is like a lifelong vacation, except that you are no longer fit to do most of the fun stuff.
- Congratulations on becoming the master of doing nothing.
- Congratulations on getting some new tires on your car. A card seems a little over the top though, I never got one.
- Congratulations on extending your weekends by 5 days!
- Retirement is great – you can finally do nothing without being worried about getting caught.
- God retired after just 6 days of creating the heavens and the earth. What took you so long?
- Please congratulate your partner on getting twice the husband, but only half the income.
- Congratulations for your retirement. Now you will be forced to work on a never-ending project that will take up all your time called “doing nothing”!
- I hope you enjoy living off your savings. Let me know what you do after the second week…
- Happy retirement… think of it as a six month holiday, twice a year.
- Have fun doing the things you always wanted to… as long as you’re not too old to remember them!
Risqué / Controversial Messages
- Retirement will make no difference in your life except the fact that you can now do nothing, officially.
- Well done on being so tired, you had to retire.
- You’ll be back, I’ve met your partner.
- I hope you’re looking forward to retirement. Apart from the occasional heart attack, you’ll probably feel as young as you ever did.
- Well done on staying alive so long that your company had to force you to retire.
- Happy retirement. Enjoy old age, fragile bones, doctor visits, medical check-ups and a weak bladder!
- Good luck in retirement. I think we’ve all been able to tell for a while that the wheels are still spinning, but the hamster is slowing down.
- Life is too short – and now you will figure that out…
- Statistically you’re now more likely to die than if you’d carried on working. All the best!
- Happy retirement, is now a good time to point out that the next big event in your life will be your funeral…
Office Retirement Quotes
- Of all the people I have ever worked with. I can honestly say that you were one of them.
- Remember we’re all still working so try not to rub it in about the tough day you’ve had visiting the National Trust tearooms.
- Retirement is just a nice way for the company to tell you that they have found more energetic, talented, youthful and skilled staff than you.
- Good luck in retirement. We’re all going to really miss doing your work for you.
- Good decision to retire – you best go now before they find all your mistakes.
- Congratulations on your retirement! Although to be honest, I could have sworn you stopped working years ago.
- Aren’t you glad you stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man?
- We’re all going to really miss doing your work for you.
- It’s been great working with you. Remember to relax and have fun, and avoid anything that resembles work for as long as possible.
- May all the years ahead bring you great joy and relaxation.
- Here’s to a well-deserved and happy retirement! Enjoy.
- All the best with your retirement. I hope you enjoy the greener pastures.
- Best wishes for an awesome retirement. Here’s hoping for a fun, rewarding and restful life.
- Enjoy your new found freedom and make the most of it. Happy retirement.
- Many congrats – here’s to a long, healthy and happy retirement.
For more ideas, check out our retirement cards where you can upload photos, add names and messages for that extra special touch.