What to Write in a Retirement Card

Last updated: March 4th, 2024 Published on: February 7, 2018

Is someone you know retiring? When people retire it’s a significant event in their life, and finding something meaningful or funny to write in their retirement card can be challenging. We’ve rifled through the inter-web, rummaged through our cards and come up with some popular and unique ideas for you. From funny quotes to sincere messages, simply pick your favourite.

Light Hearted Wishes

Congratulations! The money is no better in retirement, but the hours sure are.
I hope you’re looking forward to the feeling of never having to go to bed at night and set an alarm again.
Enjoy working at living, instead of living at work.
In retirement, there’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.
Now you can sit back and give advice to others, even though you never followed it in your own life.
Goodbye tension, hello pension!
Welcome to happy Mondays!
Happy retirement. Time to stop lying about your age and start lying around the house!
Well done on climbing the mountain, now you can finally enjoy the view!
Congrats on retiring! Now it doesn’t matter if the government decides to increase the retirement age.

Funny Messages

Remember retirement is an adventure! Especially if you count trekking out of bed, climbing on sofas and diving into takeaways. Have fun.
Retirement will make you realise that you wasted all those years trying to be mature when you can go back to being a child at the end of them. Enjoy!
Congratulations for gaining two new best friends upon your retirement. Their names are Bed and Couch. You will be hanging out with them a lot.
Retirement is like a never-ending weekend party… except that you can’t drink, can’t dance and can’t stay up late. Enjoy!
Retirement is like a lifelong vacation, except that you are no longer fit to do most of the fun stuff.
Congratulations on becoming the master of doing nothing.
Congratulations on getting some new tires on your car. A card seems a little over the top though, I never got one.
Congratulations on extending your weekends by 5 days!
Retirement is great – you can finally do nothing without being worried about getting caught.
God retired after just 6 days of creating the heavens and the earth. What took you so long?
Please congratulate your partner on getting twice the husband, but only half the income.
Congratulations for your retirement. Now you will be forced to work on a never-ending project that will take up all your time called “doing nothing”!
I hope you enjoy living off your savings. Let me know what you do after the second week…
Happy retirement… think of it as a six month holiday, twice a year.
Have fun doing the things you always wanted to… as long as you’re not too old to remember them!

Risqué / Controversial Messages

Retirement will make no difference in your life except the fact that you can now do nothing, officially.
Well done on being so tired, you had to retire.
You’ll be back, I’ve met your partner.
I hope you’re looking forward to retirement. Apart from the occasional heart attack, you’ll probably feel as young as you ever did.
Well done on staying alive so long that your company had to force you to retire.
Happy retirement. Enjoy old age, fragile bones, doctor visits, medical check-ups and a weak bladder!
Good luck in retirement. I think we’ve all been able to tell for a while that the wheels are still spinning, but the hamster is slowing down.
Life is too short – and now you will figure that out…
Statistically you’re now more likely to die than if you’d carried on working. All the best!
Happy retirement, is now a good time to point out that the next big event in your life will be your funeral…

Office Retirement Quotes

Of all the people I have ever worked with. I can honestly say that you were one of them.
Remember we’re all still working so try not to rub it in about the tough day you’ve had visiting the National Trust tearooms.
Retirement is just a nice way for the company to tell you that they have found more energetic, talented, youthful and skilled staff than you.
Good luck in retirement. We’re all going to really miss doing your work for you.
Good decision to retire – you best go now before they find all your mistakes.
Congratulations on your retirement! Although to be honest, I could have sworn you stopped working years ago.
Aren’t you glad you stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man?
We’re all going to really miss doing your work for you.

Sincere Wishes

It’s been great working with you. Remember to relax and have fun, and avoid anything that resembles work for as long as possible.
May all the years ahead bring you great joy and relaxation.
Here’s to a well-deserved and happy retirement! Enjoy.
All the best with your retirement. I hope you enjoy the greener pastures.
Best wishes for an awesome retirement. Here’s hoping for a fun, rewarding and restful life.
Enjoy your new found freedom and make the most of it. Happy retirement.
Many congrats – here’s to a long, healthy and happy retirement.